To question what has happened and to struggle to find some meaning or make some sense is absolutely normal. We are human and it is inherent nature to explore and wonder. It is NOT a sign of disbelief when expressed in a healthy manner.

There is an unhealthy tendency in many Muslim cultures to consider ‘Why?’ an almost blasphemous questioning of Allah’ decree. People struggling with different tests are often told to banish this thought for fear of ruining their faith. I was told this many times. But human beings have a natural impulse to question the world around them. During a time of great stress and trauma, we are immediately plagued by ‘Why?’. In reality, the question itself is not sinful and negotiating the answer can be the start of a spiritual journey. Stifling it can cause resentment that could be detrimental to one’s faith. However, we should be careful to avoid turning the question into an angry demand for Allah to provide us with justification for what has happened.

In the months after my daughter died, I asked Allah everyday, “Why?” I prayed for Him to help me understand even a little of the Why. There were days when I was angry, and on those days I did everything I could to distract from my anger, with prayer and more worldly simple distractions like reading a book. I have tried to explore the different questions I had as well as the journey I underwent to make more meaning of these essential life and faith issues.