I lost my one year old daughter, Rehma, in January 2013. The journey of loss, grief and pain that started that day was made more difficult by the lack of supportive, Islamically grounded resources. I spent many months searching for Islamic lectures or written material by scholars that would use the ayats of the Quran and hadith to address my specific grief at the loss of my child. I had to put together pieces of material over time and in the interim, questions and fears plagued my mind and worsened the process of grieving for my daughter.

I encountered many harmful misconceptions, some grounded in cultural misunderstandings of my beautiful religion. I sat down with multiple scholars with questions about the meaning and purpose of life and death, why my daughter died, why she died the way she did, why this happened to me, whether it was my fault in some way and how Allah SWT wanted me to respond and move forward. I was desperate for repeated reassurance that my daughter was in the best of places and that I would see her and be with her again one day, inshAllah (God Willing). I wanted to hear from other parents like me and learn what had helped them and what had not. I wanted to witness, through their lives, that it would be possible to one day live a reasonably content life again.

I wish someone had saved me much heartache and been able to sit down with me and give me this information upfront. Alhumdulillah (Praise & Gratitude to God) there are many more resources out there for the bereaved Muslim parent today, some of which I will link to on this site. But many still do not address honestly the questions that plagued me and nearly cost me my faith at one point. That would have been a tragic price to pay because, in the end, it is my faith that helps me through the darkness of my daughter’s loss.

I hope I can help another parent with the knowledge and reflections I have gained over the last few years since my daughter’s passing. Most of all, my intention is to make clearer one of the most important things our beautiful religion offers that can get overshadowed in the difficult time period immediately after the loss of a child: Hope. (I am no scholar so all the information here has been reviewed by Shaykh Yasir Fahmy of the Islamic Society of Boston Cultural Center.)

I am a bereaved mother who has walked this path for years and will do so for the rest of my life. My daughter’s name, Rehma, is the Arabic word for Mercy. I hope I can lighten someone’s step and offer a supportive hand to hold as they embark on this difficult journey. I hope I can underline how much Allah (SWT)’s Mercy is present in this long journey.

With duas (prayers) for peace and solace,

Nada

 

So truly where there is hardship there is also ease; truly where there is hardship there is also ease.

(Sura Sharh 94:5-6)